About.com Political Humor

Sarah Palin Reads Crib Notes Off Her Hand

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:23:29 +0000

Just moments after giving a speech in which she mocked President Obama for using a Teleprompter, Sarah Palin was seen answering questions with the help of her Handprompter.

As TMZ put it, "Palin was back in 10th grade biology class," reading crib notes off her hand to help her answer pre-screened questions at the Tea Party Convention in Tennesse.

The words "energy," "budget" (which was crossed out in favor of "tax cuts") and "lift American spirit" were clearly visible on her hand.

See the close-up photo of Palin's cheat notes, plus watch the video of Palin consulting her hand as she answered softball questions from the Tea Partiers.

Needless to say, Palin is getting mocked from all corners over "Palm-gate."

View a series of amusing Photoshop parodies featuring other notes scrawled on Sarah Palin's hand.

Here's a roundup of more Handprompter hilarity from around the Internets:

Notes on your hand,
Notes on your hand,
Lookin' like a fool
With your notes on your hand. -MadKane

"Palin Dodges Question About 2012: 'I Need to Check With My Hand First'" -Andy Borowitz, on Twitter

"I figured I would do the same thing today, just in case the prompter broke." -NBC's Andrea Mitchell, showing notes on her own hand during "Morning Joe"

"On a positive note, this demonstrates that she can read." -seltaeb4, on Digg

"I guess the next time meanie liberal elites like Katie Couric ask Palin what she reads, she can say, 'My hand.'" -freedomjoe, on Digg

"Hey that's how she got through college. All eight of 'em it took for her to graduate." -IrishJoe, on Digg

"She can compre-hand." -clvngodess, on Digg

"I'd like to thank Sarah Palin for bringing a visual definition to 'talk to the hand.'" -@bleahy4, on Twitter

"Sarah Palin should sell ad space on her hand. She could make a fortune." -@KristeeKelley, on Twitter

"Fox News Gives Palin's Hand Job" -Borowitz Report headline

Update: Sarah Palin struck back at her critics by writing 'Hi Mom' on her hand during a campaign appearance with Gov. Rick Perry in Texas.

Related:
Funny Sarah Palin Pictures
Sarah Palin Jokes
Palin's 10 Dumbest Quotes

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Sarah Palin Reads Crib Notes Off Her Hand originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Monday, February 8th, 2010 at 01:23:29.

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Political Cartoons of the Week

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 01:39:34 +0000

Check out our political cartoon gallery featuring the week's best cartoons.

New this week: cartoons on gays in the military, the Tea Party Convention, Obama's moon mission, and more.

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Political Cartoons of the Week originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Sunday, February 7th, 2010 at 01:39:34.

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The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:59:38 +0000

"President Obama is having a big Super Bowl party. This is very shrewd. He has invited a group of Republicans to come to the White House for his Super Bowl party. He's going to seat the 'you lie' guy next to the 'not true' guy." -David Letterman

"President Bush told Obama, he said, 'Listen, you get 10 Republicans to show up, and I'll drop in and choke on a pretzel.'" -David Letterman

"Elizabeth Edwards announced that she and John have separated. So it looks like it's not just Nancy Pelosi that's going to lose the house this year." -Jay Leno

"I am stunned that John Edwards made a sex tape. Do you realize this guy is basically Paris Hilton with better hair? That's all he is." -Jay Leno

"And, of course, Edwards has no remorse. Today, he called ABC to see if he could be the next 'Bachelor.'" -Jay Leno

"Here's big news: United States Senate reconfirms chairman of the Fed. Ben Bernanke was reconfirmed. So he'll have the job for four more years. I just hope we have an economy for four more years." -David Letterman

Read more...

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Friday, February 5th, 2010 at 23:59:38.

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Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:58:34 +0000

The late-night comedians took on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" this week, joking about the push to let gays serve openly in the military.

"Everybody's talking about the military's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. Admiral Mike Mullen said it's wrong to force people to lie about who they are in order to serve their country. Then Congress was like: 'Who cares? We do that every election.'" -Jimmy Fallon

"I think it was Bill Clinton who popularized the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. But don't confuse that with another Clinton policy -- 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell Hillary.' That was a whole different policy." -David Letterman

"'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' could be a thing of the past, very soon. The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Michael Mullen, says he believes gays should serve in the military, all gays, whether they want to or not." -Jimmy Kimmel (Read the latest late-night jokes)

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, meanwhile, both slammed John McCain for his hypocritical stance on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Colbert mocked McCain for flip-flopping on the issue, saying McCain wasn't content with the opinions of "low-ranking" officials like the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, the Secretary of Defense, and the Commander in Chief.

"We haven't heard a peep from the Commandant of the Coast Guard, the Chief of Naval Operations, Cap'n Crunch, Major Garrett, Sgt. Slaughter, Lt. Dan, 'Private Practice,' or Col. Sanders," Colbert quipped. (Watch the video)

In another swipe at McCain, The Daily Show's John Oliver argued it's time to stop letting old people serve in the Senate: "These Senators work long days in close quarters. It's not fair to the other Senators trying to work on legislation, never knowing if one of the 'olds' is gonna come up behind them and offer them a hard candy...These people can't control themselves. " (Watch the video)

See Also:
Political Cartoons on Don't Ask, Don't Tell
The Onion: 'Gays Too Precious to Risk in Combat,' Says General

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Don't Ask, Don't Tell originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Thursday, February 4th, 2010 at 23:58:34.

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New Supreme Court Robes

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 19:29:24 +0000

(Click to Enlarge)

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New Supreme Court Robes originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 19:29:24.

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SNL, Jon Hamm Lampoon Sen. Scott Brown

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:16:57 +0000

In one of SNL's funniest political sketches in recent months, Jon Hamm impersonated newly elected Sen. Scott Brown, portraying him as an irresistible flirt who becomes the object of every Democrat's fantasy.

Brown, who famously posed nude for Cosmo in 1982, is shown in the skit repeatedly interrupting a meeting of Democratic lawmakers and driving each of them to distracted fantasies with his pretty looks and suggestive winks.

For Sen. Barbara Boxer, Hamm appears as a sexy shirtless doctor: "I'm against the public option but I can offer you a pubic option. Because I just found a lump - in my underpants."

For House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Hamm is a gyrating disco dancer: "I want to introduce something to the floor. It's called - your panties."

And to Congressman Barney Frank, he's a scantily clad construction worker: "You worried about a filibuster? 'Cause I'm about to filibust out of these jean shorts." (Watch the video)

Brown said he approved on the SNL skit, telling National Review Online that he smiled as he watched it.

"Thank goodness I like a good laugh. That was pretty funny. I wish I could host SNL some day. I've been watching it since I was young. Jon Hamm is great."

But what about Hamm's Boston accent? "He did a great job," Brown said. "He doesn't really sound like me, but it was very funny."

SNL also spoofed Obama's State of the Union address in a skit cutting together clips of Fred Armisen as Obama with actual shots of displeased Republicans and ecstatic Democrats.

Referring to the Massachusetts Senate race, Obama declared, "Our nominee Martha Coakley was the single most incompetent candidate ever to seek public office in this nation's history. Martha Coakley, you are a disgrace. You couldn't beat Dick Cheney for mayor of Berkeley." (Watch the video)

Related:
Best SNL Political Skits
Latest Late-Night Jokes
Scott Brown Humor

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SNL, Jon Hamm Lampoon Sen. Scott Brown originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 15:16:57.

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Political Cartoons of the Week

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 03:57:16 +0000

Check out our political cartoon gallery featuring the week's best cartoons.

New this week: cartoons on Obama's State of the Union Address, the Supreme Court's ruling on corporate campaign funding, and more.

More Political Cartoon Collections
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Political Cartoons of the Week originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Sunday, January 31st, 2010 at 03:57:16.

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The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 07:50:37 +0000

"After President Obama spoke, the Republicans gave their rebuttal, during which they pointed out that Obama has repeatedly failed to solve any of the problems they created under President Bush." -Jimmy Kimmel

"Tomorrow night, President Obama will give his State of the Union address. The White House says the speech will focus on American jobs. So, I guess he's going to talk a lot about India." -Jay Leno

"Well, tonight in Washington, President Barack Obama gave his State of the Union address before a joint session of Congress. Joint session sounds like more fun than it is." -Jimmy Kimmel

"There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair." - Craig Ferguson

Read more...

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Friday, January 29th, 2010 at 07:50:37.

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2010 State of the Union Drinking Game

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 14:47:24 +0000

Break out the whiskey and shot glasses -- it's time for President Obama's first official State of the Union Address.

As you know, the Constitution requires that from time to time, the president shall give to the Congress information on the State of the Union, which is best digested by the citizenry while completely hammered.

Thankfully, there are several State of the Union drinking games floating around to help you accomplish this. We took the liberty of compiling the best parts of all of them into a single Definitive State of the Union Drinking Game designed to both amuse and intoxicate you as quickly as possible.

From the 2010 State of the Union Drinking Game, presented by Kind of a Lark:

"Let me be clear" - sip
(If he's actually clear - pound)
"Healthcare" - sip
"Obamacare"- pound
"Scott Brown" - sip
"My name is Barack Obama, and I also have a truck" - pound
"Pants on the ground" - pound
"Death panel" - sip
"Sarah Palin is a genius" - pound
"It reminds of my childhood in Kenya" - pound
"That's why I'm naming Glenn Beck as my new Secretary of State" - six pack
"For the record, Ayla Brown is no longer available...if you know what I mean" - pound
"Party crashers" - sip
"Which is why I won the Nobel Prize" - pound
"That is why our newly signed pact with the devil will help" - pound
"We are all Kenyans now" - pound (Read more...)

From the 2010 State of the Union Drinking Game presented by Huffington Post Comedy:

Joe Wilson yells something - Do two shots
Obama yells back - Finish the bottle
Obama says "jobs" - Do one shot, two if you're unemployed
Obama says "health care" - Do not drink, you will not be given a replacement liver
Nancy Pelosi claps like a seal - Do one shot
Nancy Pelosi becomes a seal - STOP DRINKING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Obama mentions Bo - Put beer in your dog's water bowl
Obama uses the term "Congressional leadership" - Do two shots
carefully as all that laughing will make it difficult to swallow
Obama says he's "fighting for you" - Do one shot, two if you believe him (Read more...)

From the "Official" State of the Union Drinking Game, presented by Drinkinggame.us:

Every time Obama...

Proposes a future beer summit - take 1 drink
Says cap and trade - swap drinks with the person next to you
Says corporate greed - take 1 shot of Goldschlager or Cristal, preferably sipped from the navel of a stripper
Refers to the Mass. special senate election - take 1 drink, 2 if you also were a Cosmo centerfold (Read more...)

From Political Satirist Will Durst's SOTU Drinking Game:

� Every time Barack H. Obama says "Democratic leadership," the first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking 3 shot glasses of beer.

� If either the vice president or the Speaker of the House gets caught napping on camera, last person to sing the chorus from "Wake Up, Little Susie" has to drink 4 shots of beer. If Senator Robert Byrd ever appears awake, everybody has to drink 6 shots of beer.

� If the President relates a touching heartfelt story of some poor unfortunate denied health care, Rags gets to kick everybody else once. Twice, if the subject of the anecdote is in the audience. Three times, if he/she is sitting next to an astronaut. (Read more...)

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2010 State of the Union Drinking Game originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 14:47:24.

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About.com Political Humor

Sarah Palin Reads Crib Notes Off Her Hand

Political Cartoons of the Week

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

New Supreme Court Robes

SNL, Jon Hamm Lampoon Sen. Scott Brown

Political Cartoons of the Week

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes

Top 5 Videos of the Week

2010 State of the Union Drinking Game