About.com Newlyweds

Opposite-Sex Friends and Married People

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:09:35 +0000

I always had guy friends. From elementary school to college, I was friends with boys. We were just friends. I don't think any of them even gave one thought about dating me. There were no kisses. I don't think I even hugged all of them. When I met my husband, who has a jealous streak, he never believed all these guys from my past were just friends. In fact, I told him about one friend from college, and how he and I would play Monopoly all night. My husband thought Monopoly was code for sex. There was no sex. Just Monopoly.

My husband -- and actually many of the people in my family I later learned -- believe that men are only friends with women if they're interested in them romantically. Obviously, none of them met my guy friends. Still, I respected my husband's feelings. I didn't give up any of my friends. But I would never hang out with them alone as I once did, nor do I share secrets or private matters with them anymore. My husband became my best friend, and my relationships with my guy friends changed. They started to get married, too, and they also pulled back. And our spouses started to fulfill our need to philosophize, ponder the future, and play Monopoly all night. That's just fine by all of us. Now, I'm wondering if men and women -- after a certain point in life anyway -- truly can be just friends. What do you think? Can men and women be just friends?

Opposite-Sex Friends and Married People originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Saturday, November 7th, 2009 at 00:09:35.

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Holiday Shopping Now

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:53:25 +0000

You'll never guess what I'm doing tonight? I will be wrapping holiday gifts. I know what you're thinking. Halloween was less than a week ago, so how could this girl be thinking about Christmas and the holidays already. Last year, between Oct. 1 and Nov. 30, my husband and I planned a wedding and a vow renewal in two different countries. We were playing tour guide to relatives and friends -- and then the holidays just snuck up on us. We were totally unprepared and bought everyone's gift in the three days before Christmas. It was a nightmare.

Besides feeling tons of pressure as relatives started to stop by bearing their own gifts for us, we ended up spending way more than we would have if we had time to scout out the best prices. We also would have been able to give more thought to the gifts we chose for each person. That's why I vowed that I would do things differently this year. I would get a head start. And I've done just that.

Here's my advice on how to tackle the gift giving -

1. Make a list and check it twice. Determine who you'd like to give a holiday gift and exactly what you might like to get for each person. Then figure out who merits a holiday card or homemade cookies. Colleagues and work contacts, for instance, might just need a card or cookies, which will cut down on your gift budget.

2. Surf the Internet. Look at Web sites of the stores where you're thinking about shopping. See how the prices differ for the gifts that interest you. Sometimes, you can find a better price for one item over another. If you start shopping early, you can also wait to see if the item goes on sale. Also, pay attention to the sites themselves because some of them offer better prices than you'll find in the actual store.

3. Go to outlets and discount stores. There, you can see if you can find any of the items on your list at better prices and you're almost certain to find great stocking stuffers.

4. Make holiday shopping your mission. Dedicate one or two days to purchase the items on your list. You might be able to cross off many things, and then you'll have less to worry about as Thanksgiving and Christmas arrive.

5. Wrap gifts as your bring them into the house. There is nothing more annoying than having to wrap piles and piles of presents the night before your holiday event. If you wrap them as you get them, you'll just have to display them or add lovely ribbons in the days before the holiday.

6. Enjoy the shopping. If you beat the crowds to the mall, you'll feel less stressed, find better prices, and enjoy the experience more. I know I find myself already in the Christmas spirit, and I literally just took the witch from Halloween off my front door.

Holiday Shopping Now originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 17:53:25.

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Honeymoon in New York

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:18:00 +0000

Wordless Wednesday Honeymoon

The New York City skyline is the perfect backdrop for a romantic kiss with your husband or wife. © Photo courtesy of the Gerenini family

Having lived just outside of Manhattan in New Jersey for virtually all my life, I often take the city that never sleeps for granted. But showing New York to my husband, who is a native of Italy, has given me a new perspective. I grew up near the greatest city in the world. And it's the perfect place for a romantic evening or a full-fledged honeymoon. This time of year -- when New York begins to get dressed up for the holidays -- is the best time to visit.

In the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, you can ice skate at Rockefeller Center, take in the beautifully designed, festive windows in the stores on Fifth Avenue, go to a show (The Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall never disappoints), and smooch under the tree at Rockefeller Center. Taking a photo under the lights in Times Square and a cozy carriage ride at Central Park are also delightful for couples. Just about everywhere you turn, you can find a different restaurant serving a different kind of cuisine that will stun you with its deliciousness. (For authentic Italian dishes, including to-die-for-pizza, head to Naples 45 near Grand Central Station.) Only take the yellow cabs that are sanctioned by the city, look at the prices on menus and hotels before committing to anything, and be aware of your surroundings and where your money is at all times. It's a major metropolis, after all.

Still, it's always been my favorite time of year in New York -- even if us New Jerseyans have to battle traffic to get there. Whether it's your first honeymoon or tenth, you'll be more than satisfied with taking a bite out of the Big Apple. And one look at the skyline should be enough to inspire the love.

More Wordless Wednesday Photos from Other Bloggers

Honeymoon in New York originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 at 11:18:00.

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Babysitting As Practice for Potential Parents

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:09:39 +0000

One way to decide if you and your husband or wife are ready to try to have a baby is to babysit for other people's children. My husband and I come from big Italian families. We are blessed with three nieces, a nephew, and lots of little cousins, who range in age from 1 to 18. We spend much of our time with them and have a good idea of what parenthood will be like from birth to the teenage years.

Whenever I get the chance to babysit or weigh in on issues affecting one of the teens in our life, I consider it an opportunity to flex my parenting muscles. It gives me a glimpse at what life might be like for me if and when my husband and I become parents. Granted, the real thing will be very different. When you're babysitting, you can send little Johnny home when he starts crying, vomiting, or acting up. You can't do that when little Johnny is your kid.

Still, I recommend babysitting and seeing what it's like to be responsible for a child and rear him or her, even if for just an hour or two. You might get pushed to your limit. You might fall in love. You might decide to try to have a baby.

Babysitting As Practice for Potential Parents originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 21:09:39.

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His and Hers Tattoos

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:20:35 +0000

You've heard of people getting tattoos of their lover's name or initials, only to regret it when the couple breaks up. Tattoos are difficult to remove and no one wants a reminder of a failed love story on their body. Still, some couples consider body art the one surefire symbol of their love and commitment to one another. Married people can take off a wedding ring, but a tattoo is permanent.

Recently, reality television star Khloe Kardashian and Los Angeles Lakers basketball star Lamar Odom tattooed each other's initials on their hands. Kardashian, who married Odom in September after knowing him for one month, has said that the tattoo was "meaningful and significant."

My husband and I got tattoos of each other's names on our arms while honeymooning in Mexico. We felt wicked and rebellious. The folks back home would be so shocked. Then, they'd probably laugh when we would admit that these were temporary tattoos that would fade in about a week. In fact, that's exactly how things went. This kind of tattoo was perfect for us because, although we are committed to one another for a lifetime, we are pretty conservative and reserved. Neither one of us cares for the look of tattoos, especially as people age and the art starts to wrinkle. Every couple, however, has its own preferences. Where do you stand? Take the poll above and let us know.

His and Hers Tattoos originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 15:20:35.

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A Cure for Your Smelly Sink

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:41:09 +0000

While in Italy, I picked up a neat trick for washing dishes. It's simple and effective. You know how your sink -- and especially the drain -- start to smell even if you're just rinsing off dishes to put in the dishwasher? One way to combat that stench is to add slices of lemon to the sink while you wash the dishes. You can even just take the lemon wedges you've used while cooking and throw them in there. Even if you cooked fish or threw out that green stuff growing in the back of your fridge, your sink will be lemony fresh. You might even look forward to washing dishes.

A Cure for Your Smelly Sink originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 09:41:09.

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Have Enough Halloween Candy?

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:29:58 +0000

Last year was my first married Halloween. We were in a new house, and I ran out of candy by about 8 p.m., and there were still some trick or treaters knocking on our door. I ended up giving them granola bars. Yes, I was that lady!

That's why this year I already bought the snack-size chocolate bars and two extra bags of individually wrapped twizzlers. My advice is to get out there and stock up on those Halloween treats right now. You don't want to be the granola lady. Trust me.

While you're at it, put a pretty jack o lantern in the window or a paper pumpkin on your door. Dress up the house and make it festive and inviting to the trick or treaters. Then, be sure to save some time for you and your husband or wife to enjoy Halloween yourselves.

Have Enough Halloween Candy? originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 19:29:58.

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Find Good Deals on Homes

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:39:13 +0000

Many newlyweds are in the market for a new house. And now -- what many are calling the bottom of the economic crisis -- is a great time to buy a home. Recently, real estate expert Barbara Corcoran offered advice to the Today Show audience about how to find a great deal.

You'll see that, unfortunately, profiting from the misfortune of others is one way to get a good price on a new house. People who can't afford their mortgage, are getting divorced, or lost a family member are often eager to sell.

Married couples searching for a house need to follow two rules; they must be able to afford the homes they are looking at and they must agree on the home they want. Everything else should fall into place after those two rules are followed. Happy hunting!

Find Good Deals on Homes originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 at 08:39:13.

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Baby Showers for Newlyweds

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:59:15 +0000

Wordless Wednesday - Having a Baby

U.S. Air Force Senior Airman Ishmael Bryant and his wife, USAF Senior Airman Crystal Bryant, laugh during a baby shower for military families expecting a baby at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas. © Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Newlyweds and babies often go hand in hand. In fact, some couples go from bridal showers to baby showers in what seems like a snap of the fingers. Here are some tips if you are planning a baby shower --

Be sure the person for whom you are throwing the baby shower wants to have one. Most Italians, like me, don't have baby showers and neither do most Jewish people. For some, having a baby shower is like jinxing the pregnancy. Still, many others have baby showers, and I imagine planning one would be fun. But it's best to ask about whether the pregnant woman and her family are okay with your plans.

Find out if the guest of honor has registered on a baby registry. Popular ones include BuyBuy Baby, Target, and Babies R Us. Just as you would for a wedding shower, let guests know about registries on the invitation.

Ask if the pregnant woman knows the sex of the baby and if she's willing to share that information with guests. You might want to plan the decor around whether it's a boy or a girl. And knowing the sex could help people choose appropriate gifts, especially if there is no registry.

Search for fun baby shower games. There are baby shower bingo and others that will perk up your party.

Decide whether to make the party co-ed. Some people prefer having the couple who is expecting as the guest of honor. Honestly, however, most men I know would rather have a cold enima than attend a baby shower, so keep that in mind.

Be sure to serve food and virgin cocktails (because the guest of honor and, perhaps, many of her girlfriends will be pregnant and unable to drink alcohol). Also, find out if the guest of honor has any perversions to food or any desires. Pregnant women experience nausea and vomiting. Each person is different, but some foods make the pregnant woman sick and would be unwelcome at a party for her.

Have fun. This is a party and a celebration of a new life. It should be entertaining and enjoyable for everyone who attends, including the guest of honor and the party planner.

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Baby Showers for Newlyweds originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 07:59:15.

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Age Difference Helps Your Marriage

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:58:50 +0000

I'm always teasing my husband about being an old man. He's more than seven years older than I am. It's not a huge age difference, but it was enough to have me questioning whether our relationship could work when we first started dating. He was more concerned that I would be disappointed that he did not have a college degree because I am a college graduate. I quickly dismissed the age difference as an obstacle. And he started to appreciate the fact that my education could help us. Little did I know that the differences in our age and education were probably assets.

A study recently published in the European Journal of Operational Research found that couples, in which the wife is five or more years younger and more educated than the husband, are more likely to have a happy, enduring marriage. Think Jay-Z and Beyonce or Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. The reverse, where the husband is significantly younger than the wife, does not reap the same benefits. Sorry Demi and Ashton!

Age Difference Helps Your Marriage originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 20:58:50.

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