About.com Newlyweds

When Are You Proudest of Your Husband or Wife?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:02:34 +0000

My husband is a native Italian. And although my family is from Italy, too, I was born and raised in the United States. At the moment, my husband is in the process of getting his green card -- and learning English at Berlitz. As I write this blog, he is reading an English-language newspaper (that he got for free on the streets of New York after his English classes). In fact, for the last week, my husband has been going to school in the morning and coming home to do homework in the evening. He has also been talking to me in English -- for the first time in the five years since we began dating.

Why am I telling you all this? Simply because I'm proud of my husband. And I think spouses don't point out the pride they feel for one another often enough. Tell me, when did your husband or wife make you the proudest?

When Are You Proudest of Your Husband or Wife? originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Friday, November 20th, 2009 at 18:02:34.

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Newlywed Tries to Have Husband Killed

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:36:53 +0000

My jaw is still wide open after watching The Today Show this morning and hearing about Dalia Dippolito, who allegedly plotted to have her husband of six months, Michael Dippolito, murdered by a gun for hire. She hired an undercover police officer, who caught a woman alleged to be her on tape requesting that her husband be killed and mentioning that it would make her happy. The South Florida Sun Sentinel is reporting that Dalia wanted her husband dead, so she could keep their townhouse and $240,000 in cash that he had given to her. Couldn't you just get that in a divorce settlement? Why murder the man you married?

Michael might not have had the best judgment. He met Dalia when he hired her through an escort service in October 2008. Although he had suspicions after money disappeared and people were leaving notes on his car asking for money, he stayed with Dalia because he was growing ever closer to her and her family.

Is your jaw still hanging low? After doing more research on the case online, I read in the Sun Sentinel that in Broward and Palm Beach counties in Florida alone, about one murder-for-hire case comes through the courts each year -- and most of the time it is spouses, exes, and lovers who are doing the hiring. I can't believe that murdering your spouse is on the top of some people's to-do lists. Why marry the person in the first place? How could you even consider harming the person with whom you've chosen to share your life, even if you have fallen out of love or are broke? Money doesn't seem like a good motive to me and certainly not a mere $240,000 and a house.

Newlywed Tries to Have Husband Killed originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Thursday, November 19th, 2009 at 10:36:53.

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Would You Change Your Religion for Love?

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:08:15 +0000

Wordless Wednesday Wedding

Real estate heirs Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner recently wed, but they faced a bump in the road in early 2008, when Kushner's family reportedly had concerns that Trump was not Jewish. Soon after the pair reunited, Trump converted to Judaism, which requires discipline, commitment, and of course faith. In fact, Trump and Kushner were wed in a Jewish ceremony in New Jersey. A few days after the wedding, the groom's parents hosted a Sheva Brachot, a Jewish wedding blessing. It was another celebration for an ambitious couple that now shares the same religion.

The love story of Trump and Kushner reminded me of many conversations I shared with friends while philosophizing in the hallways of our college dorm at the George Washington University in the late 1990s. I had many Jewish, Catholic, and Hindu friends. Our religions were completely different. Although most of us were willing -- and did in fact -- date outside of our religion, we ultimately ended up marrying people of the same faith (and in my case the same culture, too). Often back then, however, we discussed the possibility of changing our religion for our husband or wife. I even wrote a feature about this very subject for my college newspaper. My friend Seth Greenberg always said, "You can't pick who you fall in love with." I always remembered his words. So true! But you can change your religion for him or her. Would you change your religion for love?

More Wordless Wednesday Photos from Other Bloggers

Would You Change Your Religion for Love? originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 09:08:15.

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Should Wives Have Their Own Bank Accounts?

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:18:32 +0000

Husbands and wives often opt to pool their money and share a joint bank account, which has both their names on it. Nowadays, however, many women are making their own way and want to protect themselves -- and their assets -- in case of divorce or abuse, and they choose to open a separate account for themselves, even if they also share one with their husband. Some couples only have separate accounts. Some banks encourage couples to keep some money separate.

In fact, Nicole Collins, an outraged newlywed, who happens to be an editor at The New York Times, recently griped in the newspaper about her bank trying to convince her to get a separate account from her husband. The story she shared created lots of debate about whether this was the right thing for women to do. Some readers seem to see it as a feminist issue, and others think that separate accounts means a lack of trust and faith in your marriage. What do you think? Should married people have joint bank accounts, separate accounts, or both? Let us know by taking this poll.

Should Wives Have Their Own Bank Accounts? originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 10:18:32.

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Game Night for Newlyweds and All

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:10:27 +0000

My husband and I hosted friends and family from Italy in 2008, and one of our guests got the flu while he was with us. He couldn't leave the house, so we were all pretty much locked indoors for four days. Board games helped us get through the quarantine. Now that we're deep into the economic recession, I'm finding that those board games are helping us again.

Whether we invite someone over to play with us or play just the two of us, the games make for a fun and cheap date night. We usually make dinner and play either while we're eating or just afterward, so it becomes more like a date. One of our favorites is Monopoly Express, a quick travel version of Monopoly. Another favorite is Uno, a card game with color. What I like about both these games is that they're quick and painless. Neither drags on like traditional Monopoly, and you can easily have tournaments. They're also portable, so we bring them with us on long car rides or when traveling for vacation. During the holidays, we might bust out the games with the family after we finish feasting on food. In Italy, where we're from, people often wait out Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and the new year on New Year's Eve by playing Tombola, Italian bingo.

Computer and video games can be fun, too. My husband and I first battled one another via our Sony Playstation. He beat me every time. Now, Trivial Pursuit is trying to determine who's smarter, men or women, and it has a fun online game that has you answering trivia questions for a true battle of the sexes. You can help your gender and battle your husband or wife on your free time, as long as you have a computer with an Internet connection. It's sort of addicting, so make sure you have plenty of time to click on the cards and test your wits.

Game Night for Newlyweds and All originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Monday, November 16th, 2009 at 15:10:27.

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Do You Pee with the Door Open?

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:31:25 +0000

People always say that you understand the meaning of privacy after you have kids because you no longer have privacy. They follow you into the bathroom for goodness sake. Can you believe that? But no one ever says anything about what happens to your privacy when you get married. Husbands -- and wives -- follow each other into the bathroom sometimes, too. In fact, my husband and I, although we tend to keep the bathroom door closed when we're doing our business, we still have full-fledged conversations through the door. "Do you want chicken or beef for dinner tonight, honey?" Or "I just read this amazing article about how to beat fat by eating your weight in bacon."

Some people say that couples should maintain mystery and not allow each other to witness bodily functions (unless one of you is in labor or tragically ill). But when you live together and share everything that seems hard to do. I consider our bathroom conversations a new level of intimacy. What do you think? Let us know in the poll below.

Do You Pee with the Door Open? originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 22:31:25.

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Honeymoons for Adventurers

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:29:18 +0000

There is a chill in the air this morning, which has me thinking about my next romantic getaway. Sure enough, as I pondered a sunny, tropical destination, I came across an article on MSNBC about alternative honeymoons for those seeking adventure.

There were wild suggestions for sky diving and kayaking. I personally prefer lounging poolside with a virgin daiquiri in my hand. And my cousin and I recently discussed the possibility of sky diving to which I replied, "I'd rather go to the dentist for a root canal and the gyno for my annual exam on the same day than jump out of a plane and risk my life."

Still, other couples love the idea of thrilling adventures on land or by sea for their first, second, or tenth honeymoon. And you can participate in all sorts of stunts in beautiful locales, such as the Cook Islands and New Zealand. Now that the air is getting cooler in many parts of the United States, you might want to pick a place that is sunny and hot this time of year.

Honeymoons for Adventurers originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 08:29:18.

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Remembering Loved Ones in Wedding Photos

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:15:45 +0000

Wordless Wednesday Memories

Aaron Thomas Nemelka (second-right-back), a victim of the Fort Hood massacre on Nov. 5, poses here at his sister's wedding in July 2008. � Photo courtesy of the Nemelka family/Getty Images

This photo is like so many wedding photos. You probably have one just like it in your wedding album. A happy family poses as its members send off one of their own into married life, a whole new world. It is a joyous and happy occasion. Love becomes the excuse in these hectic times to visit with family and friends, some of whom you might not have seen for a long time. It's the perfect time to snap photos of everyone together.

I'm certain that the Nemelka family, in the photo above, will treasure this image for years to come. Aaron Thomas Nemelka (second-right-back in the photo) was killed at the Fort Hood massacre on Nov. 5. At just 19 years old, he was going to deploy to Afghanistan in January. As soon as I saw the photo and read the caption, I got goosebumps, and the tears started to flow. I can just imagine his sister thumbing through her wedding album and all the images of her now lost brother. I can't even imagine how difficult life is for her and her family right now.

Everyone deals with loss differently. Photographs are a great comfort to me. Whenever someone important in my life passes away, I spend hours looking at old pictures of him or her and thinking back on the memories we shared. In fact, just last week, I came across a photo of my grandfather Giovanni and me at my confirmation, and I framed it, so I could think about him every time I pass through the foyer. As a I thumb through my very new wedding album, I think back to the deliriously happy moments I shared with not only my husband but also our family and friends on that big day. The video is great for that, too. It's another reason to care for your wedding photos. Keep them around your house. Turn them into a video. Make them your screen saver. Do whatever you have to do to keep the happy memory of your wedding -- and the people who shared it with you -- alive.

I personally send my deepest condolences to the Nemelka family and my hope that they find joy in the all-too-brief life of Aaron Thomas and the meaningful moments they shared with him. I also hope that I'm smart enough to remember how fleeting life is the next time I'm with my family and can snap some photos and share some laughs. And I promise to strive to remember this every day I get to spend with my husband.

More Wordless Wednesday Photos from Other Bloggers

Remembering Loved Ones in Wedding Photos originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 12:15:45.

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Mail-Order Brides

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:03:49 +0000

A couple of months ago, I had to get in touch with my About.com editors because I noticed these suspicious and questionable ads for mail-order brides appearing on the Newlyweds site. They got me thinking. When I think about mail-order brides, I get this image of poverty-stricken women from third world countries forced to marry men they barely know. Their desperation for a better life convinces them that money in exchange for marriage would be better than their current lot in life.

But I picked up an issue of Glamour from the summer recently, and I found a story about a woman who has been married to an American man who found her through a mail-order service. She describes their relationship much like friends of mine who met their spouses through an Internet dating site. However, the same article in Glamour made it clear that this woman's story was the exception and not the rule. Many mail-order brides have awful experiences, and their marriages are plagued with abuse. What do you think about mail-order brides? What would it be like to be a newlywed in mail-order marriage?

Mail-Order Brides originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 18:03:49.

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Get New Recipes

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:52:30 +0000

Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away, which means newlyweds, who are hosting family and/or friends for the holiday are starting to bug out. One of the young couples I know is hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, and they sent out e-mails to their friends asking for Thanksgiving recipes. I thought this was a great idea. First, you can offer your guests variety with new recipes from others. Second, you can get inspiration and tweak the recipes to please your crowd. This can help you and your husband or wife start your own traditions. Third, if you ask for the recipes in advance, you can test them before Thanksgiving.

These friends also had me participate in a recipe exchange. That's when friends and family send you an e-mail with two names. Your job is to send one recipe to the first person on the list. Then, you must send another e-mail to 20 people with the second person on the list's name (and e-mail address) in the first slot and your name (and e-mail address) in the second. They should continue this chain and before you know it, you'll have a box full of new recipes. Now that the economic crisis has more and more people cooking at home, the recipes are even more of a treasure than they were before.

Get New Recipes originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 12:52:30.

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