About.com Marriage

Name Change Comment Bothers Me

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:59:06 +0000

Recently Heidi Klum legally changed her name. The comment that bothers me is "The bond between Heidi Klum and husband Seal just got a little closer. On Friday, a Los Angeles commissioner approved Klum's legal name change to Heidi Samuel, her husband's surname."

I don't think taking on your spouse's name is a way to being closer to your spouse. Your thoughts?

Name Change Comment Bothers Me originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Monday, November 23rd, 2009 at 17:59:06.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Too Many Long Hours at Work?

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:25:27 +0000

As the holidays get closer, if you find your spouse is crankier than normal, it could be because you are working too many hours and you are not doing your share in getting things ready for the holidays.

One of the best things you can do is to have a talk with your spouse about the holidays.

Set up a plan and a schedule.
Follow through on what you agree to do. Don't break your promise!
Make time for just the two of you during the holidays.

We also like Diane Fassel's suggestion to "Designate certain times, like Friday nights, when you and your spouse both agree to lock those gadgets [tech type] in a drawer."
Source: Maureen Farrell. "10 Ways to Survive a Workaholic Spouse Maureen Farrell." Forbes.com. 11/19/2009.

Too Many Long Hours at Work? originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Saturday, November 21st, 2009 at 03:25:27.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Great Example of How to Destroy Your Marriage

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 04:59:22 +0000

Although we were not big fans of the Roseanne show in the 1980s, I watched an episode the other night on late TV. If you want an example of how to destroy your marriage, watch this portion of "Fights and Stuff" -- Season 8, Episode 25 of Roseanne. It is obvious that the fight was not a fair fight.

Dan and Roseanne did everything in that fight that a married couple shouldn't do when angry. Read more...

Great Example of How to Destroy Your Marriage originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 04:59:22.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Surprising Results

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:04:46 +0000

The results of two of our more popular polls, "Are You Happily Married?" and "Would You Marry Your Spouse Again?", continue to surprise us.

Although we believe that marriage is not and can not be the primary source of your happiness, we are surprised to see so many negative responses to the questions. Do you think it is because more of our readers are in unhappy marriages than in happy marriages?

Surprising Results originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Monday, November 16th, 2009 at 04:04:46.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Don't Wait for the Perfect Moment

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:00:16 +0000

If you think you owe your spouse an apology, you need to apologize right away. If you postpone making an apology because you are waiting for the perfect moment or the right words, you will end up hurting your marriage.

Gary Chapman: "Your relationships will never reach their potential until you learn to apologize."
Source: Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas. The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships. Northfield Publishing. 2006. pg. 125.

Hopefully, you want to apologize to your spouse because you want to help ease and eventually end the hurt and pain you caused, because you love your spouse, and because you want to do what you can to insure that your marriage is on solid ground.

Your spouse doesn't need perfection from you. What is needed is being sincere and genuine and keeping your promises.

Don't Wait for the Perfect Moment originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 06:00:16.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Have You Had the Holiday Traditions Talk Yet?

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:05:36 +0000

We think it is important that you make time before the holidays to reevaluate your holiday traditions. Just because you always put twinkling lights outside doesn't mean you have to do it every year.

As your lives and circumstances change, your traditions and rituals need to be part of that changing process. We'll be having that talk ourselves in a few days.

Photo: Digital Vision / Getty Images

Have You Had the Holiday Traditions Talk Yet? originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 16:05:36.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Share How You Survived When Your Spouse Cheated

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:30:02 +0000

If you were/are the victim of infidelity, we have a favor to ask of you. No one will share the exact same feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, confusion, and fear that you experienced when you learned that your spouse cheated on you. However, telling your story of how you coped may help others deal with their own pain and sense of loss when faced with the trauma of unfaithfulness.

Whether your marriage survived or not, your road to healing can let others know there is hope for better tomorrows after the heartache of infidelity. Please share how you coped with infidelity in your marriage.

Share How You Survived When Your Spouse Cheated originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Saturday, November 7th, 2009 at 17:30:02.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Why is Forgiving So Difficult?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:59:27 +0000

Being able to forgive keeps both your marriage and yourself healthy. Yet for many people, admitting to making mistakes and forgiving others is difficult.

One reason you may have difficulty forgiving is your pride or because you are still too angry. Or you don't want to be seen as weak. Perhaps you want your spouse to suffer. Additionally, forgiveness can be hard if you think that your mate is not having to pay any consequences for the hurtful behavior.

JP Bardwell Resigns!

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:12:51 +0000

Great news! Keith Bardwell resigned as a justice of the peace today! He didn't give a reason and honestly, we don't care why he resigned. We're just glad that he did resign.

Keith Bardwell's term as justice of the peace was set to run through 2014.

Bardwell: "I do hereby resign the office of Justice of the Peace for the Eighth Ward of Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, effective November 3, 2009."
Source: Melinda Deslatte. "La. justice quits after interracial wed flap." SFGate.com. 11/03/2009.

In case you don't remember who he is, Bardwell made news in October 2009 when he refused to marry an interracial couple.

JP Bardwell Resigns! originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 20:12:51.

Permalink | Comment | Email this

Younger, Smarter Wives?

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 03:50:34 +0000

Looking for a magic formula for a perfect marriage?

According to a study published by the European Journal of Operational Research, after mathematicians from Bath University assessed "the age difference, cultural and educational background and divorce history of all the couples", they figured that guys could have a perfect marriage if they married a women who was smarter and at least five years younger.