About.com Lesbian Life

She Doesn't Like Kissing

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:22:18 +0000

From the Lesbian Life Forum:

I recently started dating a girl that I can tell that I am quickly falling for. She's great, we have a lot in common, same sense of humor, the whole bit. The thing that bothers me is that she doesn't enjoy kissing. I am a very affectionate person who loves to kiss. When I bring this issue up, she tells me that I kiss too much. What can I do, if there's anything at all, to help find some common ground? I would hate to see this relationship end because of such a thing. Please help!

_{� Edward Tes}

She Doesn't Like Kissing originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 14:22:18.

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My First Olivia Cruise

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:50:21 +0000

I just returned from an amazing vacation. For years I'd know about Olivia and their lesbian vacation company, but this is the first time I actually got to go on an Olivia cruise.

There is nothing like traveling with other lesbians. Everyone was so friendly and open. I met many women who have never felt like they could be as open and free as they were on the Olivia Cruise. But no matter if you are out or closeted in your life, young or old, active or sedentary, Olivia has something for you.

I am still laughing inside from some of the jokes the comedians told, remembering fondly the warm Caribbean ocean and wishing I still had access to the amazing food available onboard. Learn more about Olivia lesbian vacations.

_{� Photo by Barbara Bastian}

My First Olivia Cruise originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 16:50:21.

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Election Results 2009

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:02:30 +0000

It wasn't a big election year in terms of national elections, but there were some big issues at stake for the LGBT community.

Bad News

Voters in Maine overturned the gay marriage law by 53 to 47 percent. After the Maine legislature approved a bill that would make same-sex marriage legal there, gay rights opponents put Question 1 on the ballot to overturn that law. Maine will not become the fifth state to allow gay marriage. Fear and bigotry have won out.

Good News

Voters in Kalamazoo, Michigan have passed Ordinance 1856, which will ensure basic protections for LGBT citizens. With the passage of this legislation, LGBT individuals in Kalamazoo are provided legal protection from discrimination at work, in seeking housing and in enjoying public accommodations such as restaurants and hotels.

Hopeful News

Voters in Washington were being asked if gay and lesbian couples should be granted domestic partnership rights, the so called "Everything but Marriage" law. Early results look promising there. In 2008, Washington State expanded its domestic partnership law to give registered domestic partners essentially the same state rights as married couples. Referendum 71 was put on the ballot by conservative Christians in order to put the domestic partnership law up for a public vote. Final numbers will be posted as they come in.

_{� Kristen Price}

Election Results 2009 originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 at 11:02:30.

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Interview with Michelle Malone

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:09:52 +0000

Michelle Malone has been on the music scene for over 20 years and was an out lesbian from the get-go because, as she says, "I've always just been me - I've never had to make a statement about it." Sometimes referred to as Moanin' Michelle Malone for her dirty, edgy vocals, she is on the ballot for a Grammy for her recent release, Debris. Malone talked with our Stephanie Schroeder about the nod from the Grammy nomination committee, her 20-year career, her idols and just plain life.

_{� Trish Land}

Interview with Michelle Malone originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 17:09:52.

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Do Lesbians Care if You're Fat or Overweight?

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:30:53 +0000

Sarah says:

I've heard it said very often that lesbians/bisexuals are less shallow than men as far as 'curves' go in their women- but in all honesty, I've found the opposite to be true! So many of them seem fixated on this skinny, andro, 'Shane' look, and I can feel at times that if I go into some of the lesbian bars where I live I'm somehow not welcome simply because I don't try to appropriate that look (and couldn't possibly anyway!)...

Salty replies:

Unfortunately, we get too much of our influences from television. The same way television promotes heterosexuality it also promotes small body sizes. Young people watch music videos where most of the female singers and dancers are interchangeable. They are all pretty much the same size, same hair, same sound. And on tv shows, it's not much different. If there is a female who is not a size zero-6 (or whatever number is considered slim), then they are just in the background and don't have a life...

Little adds:

I don't look fat but medically I'm obese because I weigh 190 and I'm only 5'2 (but all the fat is in my boobs and my but...I got lucky). My girlfriend weights 220 but she's really athletic. She can run laps around the skinny muscular girls. We both have tried multiple times exercising and eating healthy but we can't seem to lose weight. She's a lot more confident with her body than I am. It took me till I was 18 to realize that I might be pretty instead of just cute...

Join the discussion.

_{� Photo by Kati Garner}

Do Lesbians Care if You're Fat or Overweight? originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 05:30:53.

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Where Did You Meet Your Partner?

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:14:39 +0000

Some people are lucky in love. Without even really trying, their soulmate just shows up and they walk off into the sunset together, never looking back.

For others, meeting and falling in love with their partner was the way they realized they were lesbian in the first place. If it wasn't for the woman they are currently with, they might not even consider themselves gay or bisexual.

Some are actively looking for love. For others it just happens.

Everyone has a story. What is yours?

_{� Kati Gardner}

Where Did You Meet Your Partner? originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 05:14:39.
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Steam is Steamy

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 08:56:07 +0000

I don't know how I missed this movie when it was in the theaters. Starring one of my all time favorite actors, Ally Sheedy, (who also starred in the lesbian classic High Art) Steam follows the intersection of the lives of three women at different stages of their lives.

Ruby Dee plays a woman in her 70s, finding love again. Kate Siegel is a college student coming out as a lesbian and Ally Sheedy is a single mom who has attracted the attention of a younger man.

Steam is a moving film. One I enjoyed. Read our review of Steam.

What about you? What lesbian movies do you like? What is your favorite lesbian movie?

_{� Wolfe}

Steam is Steamy originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 08:56:07.

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Hate Crimes Act Passes

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:24:50 +0000

The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act passed through Congress yesterday. It was attached to a defense department bill that will also authorize $130 billion to continue fighting the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. The Senate voted 68-29 to pass the bill, which adds sexual orientation, gender, disability or gender identity to current hate crimes law, which already defines a hate crime as one motivated by a person's religion, race, national origin or color. President Obama has promised to sign the bill.

Although the LGBT community are not the only ones who will benefit from this new law, the community has been working for more than 11 years to get a bill passed that offers some form of protection against hate crimes.

The law will allow federal prosecutors to step in to try violent hate-crime cases if local authorities cannot or will not secure an appropriate conviction. It also opens up federal funding for local law enforcement to handle the typically high cost of investigation in such cases.

The act is named to honor Matthew Shepard as well as James Byrd, an African-American resident of Texas brutally dragged to death in 1998 in a notorious hate crime.

Here's more about the Hate Crimes law, what it does and what it does not do.

_{Photo by GINA VAN HOOF courtesy of the Matthew Shepard Foundation}

Hate Crimes Act Passes originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Friday, October 23rd, 2009 at 14:24:50.

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How Did You Come Out to Your Parents?

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:40:39 +0000

I think as LGBT people, coming out to our parents is about the scariest thing we can ever do. We don't know how they're going to react and we fear we will somehow lose their favor.

Parents can surprise us. We may expect them to take it badly, but instead they throw open their arms in an embrace. Or we might expect them to just be fine with it, since they always taught us to respect differences in others. But then they freak out about us.

There is no one formula for how to come out to your parents, but we can learn from each other.

Twenty-two year old "PsycheDyke" came out when her mother confronted her and asked her if she was gay. She shared her story with us.

How about you? How did you come out to your parents? Share your story so that it may help others.

_{� Ontanu Mihai}

How Did You Come Out to Your Parents? originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 at 18:40:39.

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Does Straight Porn Mean She Wants a Penis?

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:14:51 +0000

Dear Lesbian Life:

My girlfriend watches straight porn and threesomes. I am worried that she might want the penis. Maybe it's just me but I need to know if I can do anything to get my question answered to get my mind cleared. Could she possible be thinking of having straight sex?

Perplexed about Porn

Dear Perplexed,

While I can't answer for certain that your girlfriend doesn't want to have straight sex, I can tell you that many people of all different orientations are attracted to different kinds of porn. It's interesting that no one ever questions straight men who like lesbian porn. But if a lesbian likes straight or gay male porn, suddenly there is cause for concern.
Porn is not real. It's fantasy...keep reading.

_{� Bartlomiej Stroinski}

Does Straight Porn Mean She Wants a Penis? originally appeared on About.com Lesbian Life on Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 19:14:51.

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