About.com Grandparents

Where Grandparents Stand on Over-Parenting

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:14:44 +0000

Helicopter parents are not a new phenomenon, as we are reminded by the cover story of the current issue of Time. Douglas MacArthur's mother moved into an apartment near West Point so she could keep an eye on her son. According to Time, however, over-parenting reached epidemic proportions around the turn of the century, and we are now in the midst of a bit of a backlash. This counter-revolution goes by several names, including slow parenting, simplicity parenting and free-range parenting.

Helicopter grandparents aren't unheard of, according to the Time article. In my experience, however, most grandparents are firmly in the slow parenting camp. We tend to think that children should be chauffeured less and play outdoors more. We have a bit of a discussion going in my forum about this very topic, including a post by Lenore Skenazy of Free-Range Kids. Give it a read and add a post if you so desire.

Another guru of the new parenting movement, Kim John Payne of Simplicity Parenting, says that today's kids have "too many toys, books and choices." I'm not sure that a kid can have too many books, but I admit that most of today's kids do have too many toys. Payne estimates an average of 150 per kid. I wonder how many were bought by grandparents?

Whether you're a parent or a grandparent, I think the discussion about over-parenting versus a simpler style is a worthy discussion to have, and this is the very best season to have it. Maybe thinking about these issues will help me resist buying too many toys for my grandchildren. Maybe we will take long walks and have long talks instead.

Where Grandparents Stand on Over-Parenting originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Monday, November 23rd, 2009 at 13:14:44.

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Thrifty Thursday: Try a Car Boot Sale

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 05:00:45 +0000

While traveling in England a few years ago, my party happened upon a car boot sale. I think that this variation on a garage sale makes a lot of sense. Here's how it works. The designated venue is often a church or school parking lot, usually on a Saturday. Participants pack the trunks ("boots") of their cars with the goods they want to sell. At the designated venue, they pull into a parking spot, pop open their trunks and set up a folding table with their goodies. If it starts to rain, it's easy to pop everything back into the trunk.

Obviously the car boot sale doesn't work for most furniture and other large items. Also, you'll need a large number of participants to make it work. I especially like it as a variation upon the church or club rummage sale, or the neighborhood garage sale. Remember what a pain it is to get all the goods gathered into one place, and then dispose of the leftovers? The car boot sale avoids those problems, as participants tote their own goods to the sale and take away whatever doesn't sell. British accents are suggested but not required.

See more Thrifty Thursday hints:

More Thrifty Thursday Blogs For Grandparents

Free Pregnancy Advice

Up to 70% off Designer Baby Clothes at Totsy.com

Get Ready for Black Friday

Will You Buy Your Spouse a Holiday Gift?

Coupons to Make Thanksgiving Cheaper

Access Wal-Mart's 32-Page Black Friday Ad

Inexpensive Stocking Stuffers for Tweens

Thrifty Thursday: Try a Car Boot Sale originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Thursday, November 19th, 2009 at 05:00:45.

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Wordless Wednesday November 18

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:58:48 +0000

I offer this photo as proof that there are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who want grandchildren (or children or nieces and nephews) purely for the pleasure of taking them to Disney World. Then there are those who would rather have a root canal. If you belong in the first group, we have helpful hints for doing Disney, and you are invited to add your two cents. Photo � L.M. Daniels

Wordless Wednesday Photo Gallery
Wordless Wednesdays on About.com
Wordless Wednesday on the Web

Wordless Wednesday November 18 originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 05:58:48.

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Does Playing Favorites Come Naturally?

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:50:24 +0000

I opened the issue of Newsweek that came in today's mail to find that science has turned an analytical gaze on grandmothers. Further exploring what scientists call the "grandmother hypothesis," biological anthropologist Leslie Knapp and her associates carried out an exhaustive study of "X-relatedness," which means the likelihood that a grandchild will get a grandmother's X-chromosome. In the case of maternal grandmothers, X-relatedness is the same for grandsons and granddaughters, 25%. Due to the role of the Y chromosome, in paternal grandmothers X-relatedness varies from 50% for granddaughters to 0% for grandsons.

If you remember your high school biology class, you are probably still with me. (You probably also realize that the human carries 23 pairs of chromosomes, and the XX or XY chromosomes form only one pair.) But here comes the controversial part. Knapp and company found that the proximity of a grandmother affected a grandchild's survival in a way that reflected the X-relatedness; the higher the X-relatedness, the higher the chance of survival of a grandchild living with or near a grandmother. For example, having a paternal grandmother nearby increased survival odds for girls (50% X-relatedness) but decreased it for boys (0% X-relatedness). In conclusion, grandmothers may unconsciously favor the grandchildren who share more of their DNA, perhaps because they recognize a family resemblance.

I don't know about other grandmothers, but I'm taking this study with a giant grain of salt, as I do any study which involves humans and their enormously complex social structures. What do you think? Read the entire Newsweek article or a related article in ScienceNow and leave a comment below.

Does Playing Favorites Come Naturally? originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 20:50:24.

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What Should a Grandparent Be?

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:04:15 +0000

I had a good laugh this morning when I happened across this parenting forum that asked, "What should a grandparent be?" One of the responders said that the grandparent should support the family "in a silent way." Another commenter said that grandparents should be like the parents' "roadies." Consider that by the time we become grandparents, many of us are accustomed to a starring role rather than a supporting one, and you have the root of many a family conflict.

Two books that I've read recently make meaningful contributions to the conversation about the proper role of a grandparent. Eye of My Heart and The Art of Grandparenting both feature writers talking about the grandparenting experience. The results are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking. One of my favorite quotes isn't actually in either book. Barbara Graham, the editor of Eye of My Heart, quotes one of the contributors, Mary Pipher, as saying that "grandparenthood stirs the dust in our psyches that we thought had settled long ago." That's another reason why being a grandparent is never as simple as we thought it would be.

Okay, dear readers, it's your turn. What should a grandparent be?

What Should a Grandparent Be? originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 10:04:15.

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Pondering Barbie, Bratz and Marketing to Girls

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:00:06 +0000

I just spent several hours putting clothes on dolls and trying to figure out which tiny shoes fit on which tiny feet. These are not activities that I would normally elect to pursue. It happened like this.

I have a toy room that I furnish primarily with bargain toys and hand-me-downs. I was offered a free dollhouse, which I accepted, thinking of my two kindergarten-aged granddaughters. The dollhouse came with a giant box full of Barbie and Bratz dolls, clothing, furniture and accessories, all jumbled together. Today, while one of the kindergartners was visiting, we tackled the job of sorting out the mess.

Like lots of mothers and grandmothers, I have mixed feelings about fashion dolls. I didn't buy Barbies for my daughters, but they received a few as birthday presents. I didn't mind, perhaps because I remember my favorite doll Jan. Jan was a perfectly adorable girl doll, and I turned her into a trapeze artist, a mountain climber and an generally intrepid adventurer. I seriously doubt that any doll will turn my strong-willed granddaughters into simpering shopaholics.

On the other hand, I agree with the authors of Packaging Girlhood that both Barbie and Bratz dolls "highlight gender differences" and promote consumerism. I do believe that parents and grandparents should discuss with our girls the messages that marketers and the media are sending them. But did I put the fashion dolls in the trash? No, and I sort of enjoyed salvaging their ensembles. There was even one outfit that would be perfect for mountain climbing.

Where do you stand in the fashion doll wars? Leave a comment below.

Pondering Barbie, Bratz and Marketing to Girls originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Sunday, November 15th, 2009 at 09:00:06.

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Thrifty Thursday: Check Grocery Coupons for Savings on Gifts

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:00:45 +0000

If you don't clip grocery coupons, this holiday season you might want to glance through them before you toss them. You might save some money on gifts for grandkids. As I was going through my stash of coupons saved from a couple of Sunday papers, I found coupons for toys and clothing tucked in among the ones for cereal and shampoo. Two coupons were for Playskool toys, but they were among the $75 of coupons available on the Playskool website, so that was no big find. I also found a coupon for 15% off a purchase at Gymboree, and I don't see a corresponding offer on their website.

If you are a member of a church or civic group that puts together holiday goody baskets for elderly members, coupons could save you some serious money on items to fill those baskets. Look for savings on personal-care items like soaps and lotions or on edible goodies like candy, hot cocoa and nuts.

If your experience has been that clipping coupons isn't worth the time, you might revise that opinion just for the next few months, when giving and saving are both in season.

See more Thrifty Thursday hints:

Check Out Clearance Racks with Your Teens

Save Money on Baby by Decluttering

American Girl Offers Budget-Conscious Gifts

Take Advantage of Free Shipping This Holiday Season

Free Shipping from Online Vendors

Plan Now, Black Friday Deals Already Circulating

Shop Early for Savings on Holiday Gifts

Thrifty Thursday: Check Grocery Coupons for Savings on Gifts originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 05:00:45.

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Wordless Wednesday November 11

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:00:13 +0000

Birthdays are way more fun when they are shared. Sometimes my family celebrates more than one birthday at once with a combined birthday party, complete with age-appropriate gifts, cake and multiple renditions of "Happy Birthday," sung only slightly off-key. Photo � Susan Adcox

Wordless Wednesday Photo Gallery
Wordless Wednesdays on About.com
Wordless Wednesday on the Web

Wordless Wednesday November 11 originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 05:00:13.

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Beat Your Procrastination Problem: Start Holiday Shopping Now

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:10:02 +0000

A while back, I read an interesting article about procrastination. I've heard all the conventional reasons for procrastination: it stems from perfectionism, abstract thinking, fear of failure and a host of other psychological quirks. This article was different. It basically said that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who are motivated, or "tickled," to perform a task simply because it needs to be done, and those who are motivated by the approach of a date or deadline.

This analysis made so much sense to me. My friend Janey is the first type. When we used to teach together, on the first day of the six weeks she would have all of her handouts for the entire six weeks already copied. She knew they had to be copied sooner or later, so she did it. I'm the second type. I was always making copies the day before I needed them, or sometimes the minute before. I knew that the copies had to be made, but I had plenty of time to do it. My "tickler" never kicked in until the last minute.

The holiday season is ahead, and it is one of the most punishing times for procrastinators. We are the ones desperately looking for a requested toy after it is already sold out, dashing to the post office to make mailing deadlines and wrapping presents the day before they are to be unwrapped. This holiday season, I am determined not to procrastinate, and I'll help you to kick the procrastination habit as well. I have lots of great ideas for grandchild gifts that you can buy right now for delivery before Thanksgiving. Wouldn't it be nice to spend December baking cookies with the grandchildren instead of fighting the crowds? I think so. I'll keep you updated on my progress as I try to lick my procrastination problem.

More holiday shopping ideas from Parenting & Family Guides:

10 Great Stocking Stuffers for College Kids

Gifts Under $30 for College Kids & Young Adults

Active Toys for the Whole Family

Active Toys for School-Aged Kids

Active Toys for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Affordable Parent-Child Gifts

Board Games That Are Fun for Parents, Too

Best Boyfriend/Girlfriend Gifts

Inexpensive Baby Clothes Gifts

Christmas Gift Ideas for Teens

Christmas Gift Ideas for Teen Boys

Christmas Gift Ideas for Teen Girls

Gifts for Grandpa

Grandmother Gifts From Around the World

Gifts for Grandbaby's First Year

Top Gifts for Crafty Kids

Commemorative Gifts for Baby's First Christmas

Top Preschool Board Games

Educational Toys for Preschoolers

Top Inexpensive Gifts for Teachers & Others

Video Games for the Whole Family

Electronic Gifts and Games for Kids

Electronic Gifts and Games for Preschoolers

Gift Ideas for Tweens

10 Ideas for Grandparents Gifts

10 Ways to Give Mom Gifts She Deserves

Classic Toys for Today's Kids

Books That Keep Kids Busy

Beat Your Procrastination Problem: Start Holiday Shopping Now originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 08:10:02.

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Seniors May Need to Get in the Game--the Video Game, That Is

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:21:30 +0000

My grandchildren like for me to play video games with them because I'm so bad. I hate playing with them for the same reason. Depending on the results of research studies going on right now, I may have to work on my game.

A national program, Health Games Research, funds research to explore how video gaming and digital technology can enhance health, and several of the studies focus on seniors. A group at the University of Florida is studying whether playing Crazy Taxi on Playstation 2 can improve seniors' cognitive functions. At Long Island University, researchers will soon begin to analyze whether Parkinson's patients who use a Dance Dance Revolution pad reduce their risk of falling. Other studies are exploring the impact of virtual instructors and virtual environments on older participants' willingness to exercise.

I'm in favor of almost anything that will help grandparents stay mentally sharp, and I'm a big proponent of exercise for seniors. Hmm. I wonder if they could design a buff and manly virtual trainer to exercise with me? That might be even more motivation than beating a grandchild at Wii.

Read more about gaming and health on the About.com Family Fitness site and the Health Games Research website.

Seniors May Need to Get in the Game--the Video Game, That Is originally appeared on About.com Grandparents on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 18:21:30.

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