About.com Gay Life

Gay in a small homophobic town

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:31:48 +0000

Dear Mona:
I've known I was gay since I was 6-years-old, but since I live in an extremely homophobic town. I am desperate to be in a relationship and I feel alone most of the time. I'm also very insecure, because I have had a very harsh childhood in which I began to eat out of control. I've wanted to be in a relationship since I was a child. I need to know what to do.

Dear 451:
Montag, the protagonist in Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, was ready to start building things instead of tearing them down, but was surrounded by people who hated what he was growing to love. By coming out as a book lover he risked being ridiculed, isolated and burned alive. The more his past and the world around him conflicted with the person he wanted to be, the more alone he felt and the stronger his urges to break free. He thought, if only he had what he long desired—the ability to understand the books that he previously burned—he'd find freedom. Then a friend reminded him not to "look to be saved in any one thing, person, machine, or library. Do your own bit of saving, and if you drown, at least die knowing you were headed for the shore." Jump to more

Gay in a small homophobic town originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Friday, November 20th, 2009 at 14:31:48.

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They say Jason Mattison was witty and uplifting

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:18:35 +0000

We've mourned too many of our youth this week. This year, in fact. Slain because they are who they are. And with such brutality.

A West Baltimore church filled with family, friends, classmates and strangers Wednesday. They payed their respects to Jason Mattison, Jr., killed last week in a brutal attack that left him raped, gagged, stabbed repeatedly in the head and throat and shoved into a closet. He was 15-years-old. Police say a family friend, Dante Parrish, confessed to the killing.

But those that cared for Mattison chose to focus on who he was and not how his life ended. The Baltimore Sun says mourners "recalled Jason for his sharp, dry wit, chic clothes and uplifting demeanor." Jump to Baltimore Sun for more.

On Tuesday, a suspect was apprehended for the slaying of 19-year-old Puerto Rican man Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado.

They say Jason Mattison was witty and uplifting originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, November 19th, 2009 at 14:18:35.

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Gender results for Caster Semenya to be kept confidential

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:31:46 +0000

An African woman wins the 800-meter race at the track and field world championships, far outpacing international competition. Months before, at the African Juniors Championships, she shaved seven seconds from her fastest 2008 time. Caster Semenya was on track to become the next super athlete, garnering international praise and global attention for African athletics outside of distance runs.

Semenya instead became the center of the most misogynist controversy of the decade. She could not possibly be an African woman, her competitors claimed. She must be a man. The International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) agreed. Look at her thighs, six pack, and muscular arms. What many would imagine an African man to be.

The IAAF ordered a series of genetic tests to determine Semenya's sex, threatening to strip her of her title should results come back as they expected. A call for confirmation in such a public and humiliating manner would not have been exhorted had Semenya not been Semenya. But her thighs and jagged jaw bones...

Today, the South African sports ministry announced that the results are in. Caster Semenya's birth gender has been confirmed as... confidential. The runner will keep her 800-meter gold medal and prize money from the world championships. The results of her test will remain confidential under doctor-patient trust. The IAAF was expected to announce the results on Friday.

"Whatever scientific tests were conducted legally within the IAAF regulations will be treated as a confidential matter between patient and doctor," the sports ministry said. "As such there will be no public announcement of what the panel of scientists has found. We urge all South Africans and other people to respect this professional ethical and moral way of doing things."

The fruits of the IAAF's labors will forever be sealed, allowing her to keep her earned title; but Semenya's career has already been stripped of its sweet beginnings. Due to the IAAF's irresponsible response to the eligibility of its athletes, Semenya's gender will always be called into question—a mark just as jarring to her career as her appearance is to her competitors.

Gender results for Caster Semenya to be kept confidential originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Thursday, November 19th, 2009 at 13:31:46.

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I pledge allegiance to the gays and lesbians of America

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:42:07 +0000

An Arkansas 10-year-old wants "liberty and justice for all," including gays and lesbians. Will Phillips decided not to recite the Pledge of Allegiance during class because he feels it does not include all Americans.

Phillips decided not to stand the weekend before while studying the pledge. "I was analyzing the meanings of it because I want to be a lawyer," the 10-year-old said during a CNN interview. "I looked at the end," he continued, "and it said 'liberty and justice for all' and there really isn't liberty and justice for all. Gays and lesbians cant marry. There is still a lot of racism and sexism in the world."

When challenged by his substitute teacher, Phillips responded "solemnly, with a little bit of malice in my voice" and told her "Ma'am, with all due respect, you can go jump off a bridge..."

Now, if only 10-year-olds could vote...

I pledge allegiance to the gays and lesbians of America originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 15:42:07.

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Bebe Zahara Benet's "the s**t!"

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:50:12 +0000

Reigning Drag Race Queen Bebe Zahara Benet takes us behing the scenes of her new video, "I'm The S**t!", the first single from her upcoming EP "Beautiful Day."

Bebe won the first season of Rupaul's Drag Race, the popular reality contest that opened the world of female illusion to national sets. She was also recently named as an OUT 100 nominee.

While LOGO is gearing up for season 2 of Drag Race, Bebe is taking her show to the vocal booth. Check out the making of the music video "I'm The S**t"

Bebe Zahara Benet's "the s**t!" originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 14:50:12.

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Resources for queer Historically Black College and University students

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:21:31 +0000

Queer students at historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) find support and information at an online resource from the Human Rights Campaign Foundation.

The Foundation's Historically Black Colleges and Universities Program seeks to educate campus students, faculty, and administrations, as well as mobilize LGBT student groups. HBCUs aren't void of queer life, but few have official LGBT-affrimative organizations or supportive administrative policies. HRC's online resource offer video student testimonials, career resources, mobilization tools and from connections between queer HBCU student organizations.

There's been no greater need for LGBT-affirmative organizations and programming at HBCUs amid anti-gay administrative policies like the Morehouse dress code that prohibits men from dressing in women's clothes and strings of violence against LGBT students.

Jump to Rod 2.0 for more.

Resources for queer Historically Black College and University students originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 13:21:31.

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Bengels pick up Johnson days after anti-gay slurs

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:10:59 +0000

Apparently, slinging the f-word as an NFL player has its benefits. The top-ranked Cincinnati Bengels tapped running back Larry Johnson just days after being cut from the Chiefs for a series of anti-gay slurs.

Equality Cincinnati Executive Director Lesley Jones called the move a "slap in the face" to the LGBT community in Cincinnati.

ESPN power ranking place the Bengels at number 4 in Week 11, with coach Marvin Lewis as the front-runner for NFL Coach of the Year.

Bengels pick up Johnson days after anti-gay slurs originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 14:10:59.

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Suspect arrested in slaying of Puerto Rican gay man

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:54:42 +0000

A suspect has been apprehended for the brutal murder of 19-year-old Puerto Rican man Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado.

Mercado's body was found Friday, burned and decapitated. The suspect is a 27-year-old man from the interior Puerto Rican town of Cayey. Puerto Rican authorities are investigating whether Mercado's murder was a hate based crime.

Pres. Obama signed an expanded federal hate bill into law in late October that extends bias-based crimes to include sexual orientation and gender identity.

Suspect arrested in slaying of Puerto Rican gay man originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 13:54:42.

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CDC says STDs on the rise

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:59:03 +0000

Chlamydia set another transmission record in 2008, according to newly released CDC statistics.

1.2 million new cases of chlamydia were reported in 2008, up from 1.1 million in 2007. Also on the rise: syphilis, hpv,and HIV. The government estimates there are roughly 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted disease annually.

How much of this data represents men who have sex with men?
Who knows, the CDC says: "With the exception of reported syphilis cases, most nationally notifiable STD surveillance data do not include information on sexual behaviors; therefore, national trends in STDs among MSM in the United States are not currently available."

The report goes on: "Furthermore, testing strategies are often suboptimal for detecting STDs in MSM. Testing for gonorrhea and chlamydia in MSM largely focuses on detecting urethral infections, which are more likely to be symptomatic than pharyngeal or rectal infections."

In other words, infections are more likely to show up in the penis instead of the mouth or anus, which is where first contact is most likely to happen for men who have sex with men. So, testing centers often fail to identify how or from where infected men come into contact with the diseases.

Read the CDC's 2008 Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance report and check out About.com's STD site for details on STD symptoms and prevention.

CDC says STDs on the rise originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Monday, November 16th, 2009 at 15:59:03.

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Largest publisher of gay papers closes

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:58:54 +0000

Window Media, the nation's largest publisher of gay and lesbian newspapers, closed its doors Monday, becoming the latest print media outlet to evaporate.

Employees of Window Media, LLC, publisher of Washington Blade, Southern Voice, Houston Voice and a number of other gay and lesbian-focused trees, arrived at work to find the locks changed and a note saying the company had closed its doors. Steven Myers, co-president of Window Media in Washington, D.C., is expected to make comment later this week.

The Washington Blade celebrated its 40th anniversary last month.

Largest publisher of gay papers closes originally appeared on About.com Gay Life on Monday, November 16th, 2009 at 15:58:54.

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