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Son Spends Four Days in Juvie for Refusing to Visit Father

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:30:59 +0000

MOUNT CLEMENS, Mich. -- A Michigan teen has been sentenced to four days in juvenile detention for refusing to visit his father.

Jacob Mastrogiovanni, 14, lives with his mother in Warren. His father, who has joint custody, lives in New Baltimore. Mastrogiovanni said he has deliberately missed court ordered visitations with his father, and because of that, Macomb County Judge John Foster has ruled he should be held in contempt of court and sentenced to time in a youth home.

Mastrogiovanni's mother, Dawn Platevoet, said her son is a hard working student and that she fears for his safety inside the Macomb Juvenile Center. "I'm very worried. I'm very concerned for the well-being of my son," Platevoet said. "The child is being torn in between this kind of situation due to the friend of the court. They're not looking at the best interest for my son." Mastrogiovanni said staying at the youth home for four days would not change his attitude toward his father. "I guess he's going to have to be punished. I don't necessarily like that he's in there but something has to be done," Mastrogiovanni's father, Victor, said by phone Thursday.

Mastrogiovanni would not be specific with why he was refusing to spend time with his father. His reasonings were recorded in a confidentiality agreement being held by the court. Mastrogiovanni said he would rather be in a youth home than visit his father and that he's willing to go back to the youth home again if required by the court.

Mastrogiovanni's family and friends have made signs protesting the judge's decision. "Going to a youth home to be with criminals, for what reason? What is this going to solve? Is it going to benefit the child? Is it going to make matters worse?" Platevoet said.

Mastrogiovanni's mother and grandmother escorted him to the center Thursday evening. He is scheduled to be released Sunday. Platevoet said she plans to picket the court Friday.

When I read the above story several things popped into my mind. What kind of father lets his son go to juvie over visitation? What could the father possibly have done to cause the son to choose juvie over visitation? Is this a case of parental alientation? Is mother so guilty of poisoning her son against his father that she will stop at nothing short of her son spending time in juvie?

Due to the satement by the father..."I guess he's going to have to be punished," I'm leaning toward there being a problem with this father. What kind of father thinks that 4 days in juvie is proper punishment for his son's refusal to visit?

How many fathers reading this blog post think that your child belongs in jail if they refuse to visit?

This is a case of cruel and unusual punishment. It is also another example of the damage adults can do to their children when divorce turns adversarial or they put their needs before the needs of their children.

Are You Guilty of Parental Alienation?

A Father's Rights and Responsiblities

Son Spends Four Days in Juvie for Refusing to Visit Father originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 at 13:30:59.

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The Divorce Process: Do You Know What to Expect?

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:02:12 +0000

Common Steps Taken During the Divorce Process:

Are you considering divorce and wondering what the process will be like? Your states divorce laws will determine what you go through once you have made the decision. Below is a broad outline describing the sequence of events for most divorce cases. Keep in mind that every divorce is different so, along with these steps you will have issues come up that pertain to your individual divorce.

Legal Separation:

Some states do not have laws that allow a couple to participate in a legal separation. In those states, you are married until a court decides otherwise. If your state laws allow couples to separate legally when one or the other spouse leaves the family residence your attorney will petition the courts for a separation agreement. This agreement protects the interests of both spouses and any children of the marriage by making sure that both parties meet their legal responsibilities to each other.

If your state doesn't have laws that allow a legal separation your next step would be to...read more about the divorce process

The Divorce Process: Do You Know What to Expect? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 11:02:12.

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Husbands Ditch Wives After Cancer Diagnosis

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:36:54 +0000

Women are six times more likely to end up separated or divorced if they are diagnosed with cancer or multiple sclerosis than if their male partners were facing the same illness, according to a U.S. study.

The study confirmed earlier research of a divorce or separation rate among cancer patients of 11.6 percent, similar to the general population, but found the rate jumped to 20.8 percent when the woman was sick versus 2.9 percent when the man was ill.

"Female gender was the strongest predictor of separation or divorce in each of the patient groups we studied," said Marc Chamberlain, director of the neuro-oncology program at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA).

The researchers said the reason men leave a sick spouse can be partly explained by their inability to rapidly adjust to becoming a caregiver and to look after the home and family.

Here is my issue with the study...divorce rates are higher among women diagnosed with cancer but does that mean it was the husband who filed for divorce?

I think there are some assumptions made in the study based on little knowledge of who actually took the first step toward divorce. I'm sure there are men, just as there are women who leave after a spouse is diagnosed with a life altering illness.

Let's face it, some people of both genders don't do well under stressful situations and will take a hike rather than support a sick spouse.

The researchers in this study took some data...women with cancer divorce more often. They then jumped to the conclusion that those women divorced because their husbands had abandoned them.

For me this is just another example of society viewing men and low-lives that lack emotional stamina and women as victims of such men.

Husbands Ditch Wives After Cancer Diagnosis originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Monday, November 16th, 2009 at 10:36:54.

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Every 38 Seconds a Man is Abused by a Wife or Girlfriend in The United States

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:00:42 +0000

When most people think of physical and/or psychological abuse they tend to think of women as the victims. Yet, the National Institute of Justice and the Center for Disease Control estimates that 1.5 million women and 835,000 men are the victims of domestic violence each year.

Intimate partner violence (IPV) or domestic abuse as it is more commonly known, is something that society has chosen to ignore for a long time. Less known, and much less understood, is the pattern of abuse that a significant amount of men suffer at the hands of their partner.

Physical Abuse and Male Victims:

Due to cultural norms that require men to present a strong fa�ade and that minimize female-perpetrated abuse men are less likely to verbalize fear of any kind which keeps them from reporting physical abuse by a partner.

Every 38 seconds a man is abused by a wife or girlfriend in the United States.

Societal norms support female-perpetrated abuse in the home. Females have more resources available to them than men who are victims of physical abuse.

Surveys find that men and women assault one another and strike the first blow at approximately equal rates. Women are equally as likely to strike a man behavior that is excused by societal "norms."

Men and women engage in overall comparable levels of abuse and control, such as diminishing the partner's self-esteem, isolation and jealousy, using children and economic abuse; however, men...read more abuse statistics

Every 38 Seconds a Man is Abused by a Wife or Girlfriend in The United States originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 06:00:42.

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Will Your Bank Account Survive The Divorce Process?

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:00:28 +0000

One of the biggest mistakes individuals make during the divorce process if failing to protect themselves financially. Divorce is filled with emotions and emotions get in the way of navigating the divorce process in a manner that does not leave most without regret.

Below Are A Few Mistakes People Make During The Divorce Process:

Don't have unrealistic financial expectations. Divorce means splitting one household into two. Two or even one income goes a lot further when supporting one household. Try to stretch the income you have to cover two households and financial belts are going to have to tighten. Expect it and plan ahead so you don't...read more

Will Your Bank Account Survive The Divorce Process? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 06:00:28.

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It Takes a Special Kind of Woman to Marry a Passive Aggressive Man

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:00:18 +0000

The woman who marries the passive aggressive man was taught in her family of origin to accept a high level of frustration for a minimal level of love and caring. When a woman marries the passive aggressive man she gets little return for all her effort.

What does that mean? How about we use me as an example. When I was a child my father was constantly withdrawing from my mother. He was an alcoholic who found it easier to deal with problems by drinking. His withdrawal frustrated my mother who became resentful at his withdrawal. As an adult it makes sense that I would choose a man who mirrored what I had grown up witnessing.

My ex husband was charming, needy and couldn't be around me enough. He was every woman's idea of the perfect man...in the beginning. Never once did I question his lack of...read more

It Takes a Special Kind of Woman to Marry a Passive Aggressive Man originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 06:00:18.

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Foreign Divorce: How Do You Know If It Is Valid?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:00:23 +0000

Marriage and divorce are generally considered matters reserved to the states rather than to the federal government. There is no treaty in force between the United States and any country on enforcement of judgments, including recognition of foreign divorces.

RECOGNITION BASED ON COMITY:

A divorce decree issued in a foreign country generally is recognized in a state in the United States on the basis of comity provided both parties to the divorce received adequate notice, i.e., service of process and, generally, provided one of the parties was a domiciliary in the foreign nation at the time of the divorce.

Under the principle of comity, a divorce obtained in another country under the circumstances described above receives "full faith and credit" in all other states and countries that recognize divorce.

Although full faith and credit may be given to an ex parte (one party to the divorce action is absent) divorce decree, states usually consider the jurisdictional basis upon which the foreign decree is founded and may withhold...read more about foreign divorce

Foreign Divorce: How Do You Know If It Is Valid? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 08:00:23.

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Is Divorcing A Military Member More Complicated?

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:00:27 +0000

I wouldn't say that military divorce is more complicated. It is different with it's own unique rules regarding division of military pensions, residency requirements for filing for divorce, certain legal protections for the military member and emergency court orders pertaining to child support. Once you become familiar with the rules and federal laws that apply during a military divorce the divorce process is pretty straightforward.

Service members Civil Relief Act:

Military members have legal protection from divorce proceedings that are not established for civilians. Under the Service Members Civil Relief Act military members are protected from lawsuits including divorce proceedings so they can "devote their entire energy to the defense needs of the Nation." A court can delay legal proceedings for the time that the service member is...read more about military divorce

Is Divorcing A Military Member More Complicated? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 at 08:00:27.

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How is Military Retired Pay Divided During Divorce?

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:00:55 +0000

In military divorce, the Uniform Services Former Spouse's Protection Act (USFSPA) recognizes the right of state courts to distribute military retired pay to a spouse or ex - spouse and provides a method of enforcing these orders through the Department of Defense.

The USFSPA does not; however make division of military pay mandatory during divorce. An ex - spouse must have been awarded a portion of the member's military retired pay as property in their final divorce decree, dissolution, annulment or legal separation.

State laws can differ when it comes to the division of military retirement pay but the USFSPA gives each state the right to treat military retirement as "marital property." State courts are tasked with making an "equitable distribution" of the military member's retired pay but, that does not automatically mean a 50/50 distribution. Each state has factors that are applied to each individual case and division of marital property such as military retirement is based on...read more about dividing military retirement

How is Military Retired Pay Divided During Divorce? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 08:00:55.

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Need Solutions to Those Marital Problems?

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:00:59 +0000

I've spent quite a bit of time writing about marital problems that lead to divorce. I've not, however given advice on how to find solutions to those marital problems. You first step should always be to seek professional help by seeing a marriage counselor.

If, for some reason marriage counseling is not an option following the five steps below should help find a solution to those marital problems and help you move forward.

Step 1: Name the problem. In naming the problem, you have to be specific. Saying, "he/she never helps around the house" will get you nowhere. If you want your spouse to help around the house you need to outline what specific tasks you need help with. For example, you need help with the laundry, or you wish your spouse would help clean-up after dinner each night.

It is very important to be specific with more severe marital problems. If you've lost interest in sex with your spouse ask yourself "why," and "what" is causing the loss of interest. Is it hormonal, is your spouse behaving in a way that...read more about marital problems

Need Solutions to Those Marital Problems? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 12:00:59.

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