About.com Adoption / Foster Care

Happy Adoption Anniversary Boys!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:47:21 +0000

Yes, seven years ago today, my husband, myself, and our daughter finalized the foster care adoption of our 3 boys. We fostered them for two years before facing a judge in Wichita, KS to make it all official. It's funny that we finalized in November during National Adoption Month, but back then I didn't even realize it was National Adoption Month. Many families plan for it to occur in November just for that reason, but we just fell into it.

Parenting three teen boys with high emotional and behavioral needs was no picnic in the park. But we did learn a lot from our time together as a family and I believe we are all better people for the experience. Every trial they face is still yet another growing and learning opportunity for us.

We have never made our adoption anniversary a big deal - more of a, "hey, do you remember what today is?" type of thing. Some families go all out and it becomes another holiday. What is your adoption finalization day to you and your family?

How do you celebrate your adoption anniversaries? Is it a special day in your home, or does it just become like any other day?

Suggested Reading:
How To Complete a Foster Care Adoption

Happy Adoption Anniversary Boys! originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 18:47:21.

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Trampolines and the Culture of a Fostering Family

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:55:03 +0000

Thanks to a high school friend, I was given the opportunity to speak to her class this morning about the culture of foster care. It was a small group of college students in an entry level social work class about marriage and family.

We talked about family as a system and a bit about different cultural clues that we can observe in those around us. I then presented the concept that when a family decides to become a foster family, the family must blend their own culture, the foster child's culture, as well as the culture of the foster care system. The foster family takes on a completely new culture that is a diverse mixture of ideas and values that they have artfully combined - all while not giving up their core beliefs. It can be exhausting.

The class asked me a few questions about my experiences, but got off track a bit when they questioned a certain regulation. In our area, foster families are not allowed to have trampolines and foster children are not supposed to jump on trampolines. This seemed to completely trip the class out. "How can foster children expect to have normal childhood experiences if they can't jump on a trampoline."

Welcome to the foster care system. Oh, and I had a great time sharing with the class!

Perhaps the class would like to add this to the list of things they'd like to change about the foster care system?

Suggested Reading:
If I Could Change the Foster Care System I Would...
Great Foster Parents Understand the Importance of Culture and Lifebooks
Learning About the Culture of Foster Care - Foster Care Alumni of America's Community Art Project

Trampolines and the Culture of a Fostering Family originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 23:55:03.

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Tangled Hearts

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000

Written by adoptive mother Patti Bongiorno, Tangled Hearts tells the story of a fictional adoption that reflects reality with Bongiorno's strong characterization and insight into the adoption triad.

Not only is Tangled Hearts perfect reading this month for National Adoption Month, but the Tangled Hearts necklace is a perfect gift this holiday season!

Tangled Heart Pendant - Image used with permission from Bongiorno Books

Tangled Hearts originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Sunday, November 1st, 2009 at 00:00:00.

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They Grow Up so Fast and the Halloween Candy Goes with Them

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:00:12 +0000

I'll admit it, I'm a little bit sad this Halloween. I don't have a little one to get ready for a school Halloween party. I don't have a little one to help figure out a Halloween costume. To top it all off, my daughter is a big middle schooler now and thinks that this year just might be her last year to go trick-or-treating! And where will I get my free candy from next year?

So, all you parents out there, helping your children get ready to go to school all dressed up in their scariest or cutest this morning or for trick-or-treating Halloween night, enjoy. I'll probably be at home most of the evening - digging through my daughter's last Halloween haul, with tears in my eyes and a few Snickers and Reese's in my fists.

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Suggested Reading:
Preparing Foster Children and Newly Adopted Children for Halloween - Some children don't know basic trick-or-treating safety rules.
Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas for Late October Foster Care Placements

They Grow Up so Fast and the Halloween Candy Goes with Them originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 05:00:12.

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Thrifty Thursday - Use a Binder and Free Printable Worksheets to Organize Foster Care Documentation

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:53:27 +0000

Most homes with children have a few used 3-ring binders laying around, left over from various school projects.� These binders are often in pretty good shape too. By utilizing one of these binders, a few tabbed dividers, and these free printable worksheets, a foster parent can get a jump on organization for pennies.

Find the step-by-step instructions on creating a binder for foster care records here.
Find the free printable worksheets to use in keeping foster care records and documentation here.

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Thrifty Thursday - Use a Binder and Free Printable Worksheets to Organize Foster Care Documentation originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 at 08:53:27.

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Madonna Visiting Malawi with her Children

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 23:55:39 +0000

Madonna is in the headlines again, this time traveling to Malawi for the groundbreaking at her charity's new school for girls - Raising Malawi Academy for Girls. All four of Madonna's children accompanied her on the trip, which included a visit to the orphanage that David lived in before his 2008 adoption. 4-year-old David and his siblings, Lourdes, Rocco and Mercy, even got to see the crib where he slept. What a great opportunity for the whole family. I hope this is a trip that Madonna will help David and her children document in their lifebooks.

Madonna adopted David and Mercy from Malawi among much controversy due to the minimum residency law that is required of foreigners wishing to adopt from the country.

This does give Madonna and family an awesome opportunity to really add something special to her children's lifebooks - especially if they paused to take a picture of David with his old crib. What are some of your favorite lifebook tips or ideas? Click here and share your ideas.

SOURCES
Madonna and son visit his Malawi orphanage - The Associated Press
Madonna visiting Malawi to launch school - CNN.com

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Do Not Accept Adoption Referrals for Vietnam Until Further Notice

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:06:46 +0000

Vietnam adoption referrals issued before September 1, 2008, have almost been fully processed toward finalization. The cases still pending are being handled by adoption officials and the U.S. Embassy. According to the Office of Children's Issues of the United States Department of State, prospective adoption parents and adoption service providers should not attempt to receive adoption referrals or accept adoption referrals from Vietnam.

The Government of Vietnam is currently working on new adoption laws, but will take some time to implement new adoption procedures. Many hope that this is a good step toward Vietnam being a party to the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption.

What caused the issues that led to the agreement between countries not being renewwed?

"Vietnamese criminal investigations and U.S. field reviews revealed evidence of child buying, including forged or altered documents, cash payment to birth mothers (for other than reasonable payments for necessary activities), coercion or deceit to induce birth parent(s) to release children to an orphanage, and children being offered for intercountry adoption without the knowledge or consent of their birth parents."

It seems that both countries wish for a transparent child welfare system that puts the interests of children first. According to the press release, the Vietnamese Government has concluded one of several investigations of adoption officials and all 16 officials from one province were found guilty and sentenced.

Do Not Accept Adoption Referrals for Vietnam Until Further Notice originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Saturday, October 24th, 2009 at 21:06:46.

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A Bit of Love & Logic Doesn't Hurt

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:55:35 +0000

I just spent the last two nights leading a fairly large group of parents through a Becoming a Love & Logic Parent course. If you're not familiar with this class developed by Foster Cline and Jim Fay, than you're missing the parenting boat, in my opinion. It's great curriculum and I really enjoy leading classes a couple of times a year for very selfish reasons - it's a great refresher for me. I just need to find a way to convince my husband that refreshers are a good thing. We do serve cookies during training. Maybe that's the hook?

The class tonight gave a wonderful opportunity to those needing to share some frustrating parenting dilemmas to gain a fresh perspective from other parents. We had about 30 parents in a room with experience ranging from toddlers to adult children - biological, foster, adopted, and kinship placements. As the group shared insights drawn from years in the trenches, it was great to see a bit of hope on some of the parent's faces, relief on others, and still a bit of validation on a few when the issue stumped us all. There is nothing wrong when we as parents discover that we are not crazy.

If I had to choose one of my favorite parenting techniques, it would be Love & Logic. I highly recommend it to all parents, but especially foster and adoptive parents. It just may save your sanity.

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Should Child Protective Services Become Involved with the Heene Family?

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:50:39 +0000

According to ABC News.com child protective services or CPS, have been asked to investigate the Falcon Heene, a.k.a. "balloon boy's," family. Local police have asked CPS to wait until law enforcement have finished questioning the family. Law enforcement are waiting until today to continue their investigation to give the family time to rest and recuperate, especially after seeing Falcon vomit a few times on Today and Good Morning America, yesterday morning.

I haven't posted yet about the Heene family because I've been spending time processing what has become a complete hot mess. "Hot mess" is my favorite term as it really sums up a variety of situations, people, circumstances, attitudes and more. This is a hot mess. It's also close to what my mother would call some of her dinner creations after tossing a bunch of things into a pot and ringing the dinner bell. There is a lot that has been thrown into this pot. Here is what we think we all know so far:
Read more...

Should Child Protective Services Become Involved with the Heene Family? originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Saturday, October 17th, 2009 at 03:50:39.

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Thrifty Thursday: Use Child's Artwork as Gifts for Birth Parents

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:49:37 +0000

Whether you are working with a birth parent in a foster care situation or keeping in touch through an open adoption arrangement, nothing beats a handmade gift. This is especially true if the gift is made by a child and utilizes their cute little footprints or hand prints.

What a sweet way to keep a birth parent connected to their rapidly growing child:

Cute holiday footprint and hand print gift ideas:

Also Consider as inexpensive gifts:

Framing the footprint or hand print art to make it stand out even more.
Framing a child's drawing as a gift.
Making a quick scrapbook of different photographs of the child.

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Thrifty Thursday: Use Child's Artwork as Gifts for Birth Parents originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Thursday, October 15th, 2009 at 23:49:37.

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